Living a void
There are moments in life that when you look around, you find nothing, and no one.
You have nothing to prove that you have actually lived, just lots of ever-vanishing memories and scars.
No one to turn to, and no one to remember your passing.
It’s sad, really, to realize that you cannot call any of those people around you, friend… They are just pale parodies of what could be, and should be.
And after tasting the real taste and then losing it, you cant just bring yourself to accept a copy of a copy of a copy…
comments
comment from icarus
time September 2, 2011 at 8:19 am
the english version is more private than the persian one!
comment from Bill Mason
time September 2, 2011 at 3:13 am
You’re very alive. You are not of a void. Indeed, you are the anti-void. You fill a space in the universe that would otherwise be null, like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle snapping into its place.
I know you’re alive, because your friendship filled a void for me that I did not know I had. I can’t prove you wrong about your passing, but hopefully I will not have to for a very long time. I assure you, that day will indeed be a void.
Voids are contradictory. You can simultaneously erase a void while having one of your own. By your existence, a void is filled in partly by a void. (Two negatives made into a positive.) In that sense, you perhaps are of a void. But then, so are we all, since we all want for something and carry a personal void inside. Your life may yet be missing things that you want. People you need.
I am proud to be your friend, even if our friendship is paled by the challenges of distance, language, culture… And even if you’re not sure we’re there for us to turn to, we’re here. Don’t be afraid to look for us if you need us. Don’t be afraid to call to us if we’re not in view.
And don’t hesitate to not settle. Physically, a memory is a permanent change to neural connections in your brain. In an odd way, all memories are a sort of scar. But lack of fulfillment leaves a different kind of scar. Don’t stop looking for whatever you need that is unfulfilled. Don’t accept anything less.
That’s my two cents, as the saying goes. I hope those moments in life you’ve had are infrequent. Or if they’re not, that they become so. Hardly a day goes by where I don’t look around at least once and wonder what the hell I’m doing. And eventually with good people around you, you get reminded and you go on a little longer. Consider this my attempt at a reminder, should you need one. Hopefully I haven’t talked too much.